At 43, I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up

 Okay, so I took a detour. At 43, I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I needed to stop and get focused. Since the beginning of the year, I started looking for a normal job because it seemed to me as if the business wasn't going as planned. I finally got  registered with the state and federal government. And I'm in the process of becoming a certified woman owned small business. Self certification is a drawn out process. I've learned so many new things through this journey that I didn't know before. But before I get into that, back to the job hunt. So I landed two jobs at once and got a little overwhelmed at first. Going from working for myself and staying at home with my little girl to working full time and studying to get my life insurance license in the evenings. Talk about stepping out of my comfort zone. The insurance job sounded like my dream job. The company said that family was first and they understood that I had a small child at home. I would be able to learn at my own pace and they would be there to support me all the way. It did start out that way. Then I got the phone call saying I got the job at a local, well know pine straw company as the Accounts payable position and I was overly excited. It was an 8am-5pm Monday - Friday job, less than 20 minutes from my house. My parents house is halfway between here and there, so I could drop my daughter off on the way to work and pick up her on the way home. The job required Quickbooks knowledge and I am Quickbooks Certified. I have been working with Quickbooks since the start of All-Tech Communications. Although I have never had a job other than working for myself, that had no job description. My first day I was shown my desk and was given my login information and that was it. There was policy or procedures. Now most AP jobs are pretty much the same. You pay the bills and track down any past due invoices. Pretty easy, right. Wrong! Not when you can't issue checks in Quickbooks, or pull bank statements, or even login to online bill pay accounts. Each day I was at work early (which says a lot because I am late to everything!) and I stayed late trying to figure out how I was supposed to do my job if I had no guidelines and didn't have the resources needed to complete the task at hand. Needless to say, I didn't go back after the first week. I will not listen to sideways comments nor will I listen to my supervisor degraded me to co-workers.

                                                                                                                         (to be continued)

Alice in Wonderland (Part 2)

While doing a little research on Alice In Wonderland, I came across Debra Smouse "When You’ve Fall Down the Rabbit Hole: 17 Ways to Climb Out." Seeing that I often use that reference, finding this article is right on track for me. You see, I can relate to this story, on so many different levels. Some days I am Alice chasing the rabbit and some days I am the white rabbit. As in, I am always running late and giving too much of myself to other people. I love hard, regardless of the type of love. Family, friends, significant other, and business associates. I know no separation between personal & professional life, just like the white rabbit. Which can lead me down a rabbit hole, triggering my own confusing views of reality. Today, I can thank Debra Smouse for showing me how to climb out before falling deeper. I love what I do and I love my crew. We tolerate a lot from each other, being that we spend a lot of time together. I am blessed to work with friends that I trust (I have to remind myself of this daily). Newc Solutions is more than just me, and Kelsie (who also lives with me). There are a lot of behind the scenes people involved, some that are my resources. They have their own businesses or work for themselves doing their own thing but I can call on them and they make solutions for whatever problem is at hand . Some people are more of a support team, listening to ideas or just allowing us to talk out loud. In reality, we all work together. A paycheck doesn't make you part of an organization or a company, it makes you an employee. Newc Solutions has no employees. We work a little differently. Our goal is to succeed at helping others be successful. We know what we are good at and we know what we can do so our approach on this business is like no other that we have done before. If it takes a village to raise a child, why wouldn't it take a village to be successful? Why not find out what each person brings to the table, then go from there. Insead of having one company that does it all, we have multiple small businesses that comes togerther to support each other. Maybe our view of success is different from the norm. Maybe past lifestyles or major events has caused each of us to reevaluate what is most important to us. And by coming together, using what we are each good at, and making our resources available to all those that are involved, we are able to build something bigger than any of us while not losing focus on what matters the most. This time around it isn't money or social status that defines success. Being able to both provide for and raise my daughter happily is plenty of success for me. Knowing I have a support team of business associates with the same views, means my village won't allow individual failure. This crew builds with each other. It takes all involved to be successful.  This is our twisted version of reality. This is our real-life Wonderland. Except, we save the emotional manipulation for our advertisements and marketing strategies. We use play-on-words to again your atte vntion, not to deceit our abilities. New problems require Newc Solutions! Give us a try and find out why   

Alice in Wonderland

Playing with someones emotions is one of the worse kind of 'playing around' that you can do as an adult.  Although it isn't easily spotted in the beginning, there are some red flags that you should educate yourself on. It may take months or years for you to realize that is going on and the time it takes to recoup from that kind of mental manipulation can take a lifetime. To this day, I still question everyone's motives. Some individuals turn it into a game. One that you cannot win. It always feels as if you are trying to keep up with the situation at hand. Either professionally and personally, you don't seem to understand. You question everything, starting with yourself first. Then the ones around you because the only way to keep you envolved to make you question reality. When you have been through it several times and you catch the signs. You know they are purposely engaging in a specific conversation to get an emotional reaction from you. It is a toxic cycle of abuse that can spiral out of control. When you know it is going on and you allow it to happen...'Okay, I will follow you down that rabbit whole'...giving them the reaction that they wished for. But in the end, they appear to be the one wondering what could have caused that reaction. Does this make me the crazy one, am I going insane? Or am I beyond that, spinning my wheels in the shadows of my crazy mind. Like Alice in her confusing wonderland, being pushed from one emotion to the next. With the King and Queen of Hearts yelling off with her head.