Playing with someones emotions is one of the worse kind of 'playing around' that you can do as an adult. Although it isn't easily spotted in the beginning, there are some red flags that you should educate yourself on. It may take months or years for you to realize that is going on and the time it takes to recoup from that kind of mental manipulation can take a lifetime. To this day, I still question everyone's motives. Some individuals turn it into a game. One that you cannot win. It always feels as if you are trying to keep up with the situation at hand. Either professionally and personally, you don't seem to understand. You question everything, starting with yourself first. Then the ones around you because the only way to keep you envolved to make you question reality. When you have been through it several times and you catch the signs. You know they are purposely engaging in a specific conversation to get an emotional reaction from you. It is a toxic cycle of abuse that can spiral out of control. When you know it is going on and you allow it to happen...'Okay, I will follow you down that rabbit whole'...giving them the reaction that they wished for. But in the end, they appear to be the one wondering what could have caused that reaction. Does this make me the crazy one, am I going insane? Or am I beyond that, spinning my wheels in the shadows of my crazy mind. Like Alice in her confusing wonderland, being pushed from one emotion to the next. With the King and Queen of Hearts yelling off with her head.
With that being said, I try to keep the environment around me as laid back as can be. Working from home can be stressfull enough, especially when roomates are also business partners, friends or lovers. Therefore, I don't tolerate drama or dumbsh*t. If it looks shady, I'm going to call you out on it. If you like to stir the pot, do it somewhere other than here. We don't have time for that. Same feeling for if you are fake. Don't smile to my face with a dagger in my back. And please don't keep me around just because I do for you. Tell me what you want from me and I'll do my best to give it to you. My most common quote is 'If everyone was upfront about their expectations, there would be a lot less hurt in this world'. I go above and beyond for those around me, even if they have done me wrong. I give chance after chance because it is what I expect when my actions creates pain in someone else's world. I have high expectations of those that I choose to keep close. As a matter of fact, it has been said that I have "unattainable expectations" for myself and my crew. Which is why I am so forgiving on almost any situation. We all make mistakes. Except when it comes to the matters of my heart. This is why I love the fact that it is the King and Queen of Hearts in Alice's wonderland, that yells 'off with her head'. I must say that I see a completely different relevance of this scene. I can usually hold my own when it comes to mindset games (Although, I would rather not) but when it comes to my heart...I'll cut people off with a quickness. As if they never exist.